10 Year Anniversary

Columbine 10 Years

Ive been pondering a lot today about this anniversary.  I remember it so clearly.  As the tragedy was unfolding in Columbine we had our own tragedy unfolding in our lives.  It has been 10 years today that we found out Emily was seriously ill.  Today we met with Dr. Astle our pediatric opthamologist.  We met with him exactly 10 years ago today with our 10 month old daughter.  He delivered the news to us that day that Emily was blind and something was wrong along her optic nerves and that he highly suspected a tumor of some sort. We were devastated and returned home awaiting an MRI the next day to see what exactly the problem was. I remember watching the situation unfold on TV in Columbine and crying tears for those students and for Emily. I remember holding Emily and looking at her tiny little head and wondering how something so terrible could be going on underneath the surface.  I couldnt believe it and I remember wanting to take her and just run from it all.  It was a terrible day in my memory and I remember it acutely...and it has been 10 years!  Ive been thinking all day about the whole experience we had with Emily. She has many questions about how we knew she had a tumor and what the surgery was like.  It has been interesting to recall those memories and share them with her. I even downloaded today the one CD that would calm her thru all of this....Andre Bocelli.  To this day, Mike cannot even listen to the CD.  I can because Emily's story has a happy ending. She is perfect. She does everything any little 10 year old girl can do.  She loves life. She loves to laugh. She does not dwell in self pity at the doctors appointments and medications she has to endure. She simply does it and understands it is part of her story.  Today the girls said that maybe Heavenly Father gave her the tumor because he doesnt like her....I quickly corrected that thought and said Heavenly Father sent us here to be tested, we all will have different tests, and this happens to be one of Emily's tests....when we pass our tests we can return to Heavenly Father with our heads held high. We then talked about different tests that we might be given and how we might endure them. I was sure to point out (tho so easy to forget) that we will not be given challenges we are not strong enough for. Heavenly Father knew Emily was strong enough and brave enough and could overcome this challenge in her life.  It was such an uplifting moment with my girls! I love each one of them. I love Emily and the challenges she faces. I love that her story has a happy ending.

We also booked a new surgery today. After much deliberation and debate over the last 10 years we have decided to fix Emily's eye.  Her eye waivers and does not follow her good eye.  We have decided it is time to fix it. So May 28 is the day!  They will pull her muscles around her eye tighter so that it will be able to follow her good eye more closely.

And on a lighter note....the girls also asked today 

WHAT CAUSES A TUMOR??

I said...well if you come up with the answer to that..you will be a billionaire.  Stephanie says, "Ok come on guys...let's all figure it out! Let's put our thinking caps on so we can be billionaires!  So that is the latest money making scheme around here. Forget chores..they are going for the big bucks!!